There is a tendency in some of us to bury within ourselves some of our deepest thoughts and feelings. No man has ever been granted the key to the secrets of our hearts. It is either that we do not wish for anyone to know of our feelings or it could be that we find it difficult to trust anybody enough for them to be our confidante. 

Samantha Dawson is one such person. She, though naturally having a pleasing and sweet temper, withholds a great deal of what she feels. But her brother is very unlike her. He is an open book. One may think that when a young man is so expressive about how he feels, he often gets into trouble. But that is not the case with William.

William is a fine young man of six and twenty of whom his father is very proud. He is a prudish sort of fellow who never gets into any trouble, unlike other young men who often turn out wild. He is a sensible man and greatly responsible. And for that, he is definitely Mama’s favourite. If William were to make any decision, it would surely turn out to be the best. He possesses this marvellous ability from a young age. But one decision that William has recently made is met with opposition from his father.  

“No! You are not going anywhere. What are we to do without you? Besides, I …”

“Oh please, Sir. You must allow me to go. London is not such a bad place. I know that you despise London, but why shouldn’t I go?” 

“It's true I despise London. It's not a safe place for a sensible man like you. That's a place that will surely put you into trouble. The wrong sort of acquaintances could lead you into an unwanted addiction to gambling and an imprudent way of life. A great many fellows I know have turned out badly because of that very place. They have been stripped of their fortune and their position in polite society. It will not do us any good, nor will it do your sisters any good. One tarnished reputation will forever ruin the prospects of your sisters and our family.”

“Papa, I understand your fears. But you know me too well. You know my disposition well. You know how much I despise gambling and I have never gambled before. We do not even attend card parties or give one ourselves. Besides, have I ever gotten myself or our family into any trouble?”

“Umm…” Mr Dawson hesitated. “No… you have been such a good boy since you were little. Never once have you made us worry. You are the last person I would ever worry about.”

“Then, do you not trust that even now I will not do injustice to your high regard of my nature?”

There was a short pause after this question was posed. He fell into deep thoughts. We could not comprehend what the older man was thinking at that moment. Would he allow his son on the treacherous trip that he has always dreaded or would he forbid him? His eyes looked keenly at the polished mahogany floor without comprehending anything. Soon, it was back up gazing upon the face of the handsome young man.

With a heavy sigh, the father acquiesced, “Very well then. I will trust you as much as I have had all along. You have my permission as long as you do not put yourself in a dangerous situation. But please do return soon. We won't be able to do well without you.”

“Thank you very much, sir. 5 weeks is not too long I suppose. I promise I will write to you very often. Time shall fly quickly and I will be back very soon.”

Such was the communication that took place between Mr Dawson and his eldest son. Soon it was settled that William was to depart in early January and was to return in mid-February. 

Of everyone else, Catherine, the youngest of the three, displayed the greatest excitement about William’s trip to town. Though she does feel some jealousy against her brother, she derived a great deal of pleasure from the arrangement as she was sure that when her brother returned from town, he would bring her some lovely presents. 

“Think about it, Samantha. William would bring home new bonnets, parasols, and perhaps some fine fabrics for new gowns. And oh, some very pretty laces too…”, said Kitty as she was embroidering.

“Enough of your raptures, Kitty. You have been saying it all morning. I shall be prepared to laugh at you if William does come home empty-handed.”

“Don't be silly, Samantha. William will never do such a thing. We are his dear sisters after all. He is sure to buy us something, if not many things.”

“He is our dear brother indeed. But let us not persuade him to buy us anything. He would buy something on his own accord. He cannot forget us.”

“Oh yes, indeed. He loves us so I am sure he will not forget us.”

“But to be honest. I do hope he'll bring home some new books and poetry. I have read almost every book in our library. The only books that I did not dare to touch were those books about laws and economics. It would be nice if he could get some good novels and some books on history. That would do just well for me and would keep me occupied for at least a couple of months.”

“You are always thinking about books and forever living in an imaginary world where there is little to worry about. You have to be realistic, Samantha. Imaginary life will not help you get through real life.”

“Be realistic?! Why be realistic when we could just be optimistic? Why focus on the evils when you can always think about the good things? Why bother yourself with the worries of this world when you can float freely in your imagination? Optimism is the very essence of joy and freedom.”

Kitty stared at her sister in disbelief as she swung her arms to and fro and twirled around the room. She could not believe that her sister, though older and wiser than she is, would cling to such fanciful thoughts.  

“I have lived a hundred lives by just reading these novels. You can have no idea how many people I have ‘met’ and how many places I have ‘seen’. Though I did not see them in reality, I have put my imagination to work. And they are just as heavenly. What more could I want?”

“Well, I do hope that William does not bring you any more books. You are quite spoiled by them.”

The joy on Samantha’s face faded away. “I shouldn’t have told you about the books after all. That's why I don't tell anyone how I feel about certain things,” she thought to herself as she gave Kitty a grave face. 

Catherine saw that Samantha didn’t seem amused by her statement. So she stood up from the comfy blue sofa and quietly walked out of the drawing room, not wanting to provoke her sister at all.